


The Wrong Kind of Right

by lod



Category: Persona 4
Genre: (someday), Adults, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, M/M, Slow Burn, long fic, mostly souyo other chars are background, who me projecting onto video game characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-25 09:19:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19742716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lod/pseuds/lod
Summary: Yu's always done the right thing. But somehow, a few years out of school, he realises that the right thing may not be so right after all.





	1. Chapter 1

Yu sits at his dining table, listlessly tracing the scratches across its surface while his coffee goes cold untouched. He could drink it. He could also get up, make dinner, watch something on TV, read a book. He could. He even pictures himself doing it. But still he sits there, too apathetic to move, or too tired, maybe. Not physically, not really; he’s not drained the way he used to be after working out, back when he still did that. It’s a deeper sort of exhaustion, one that pervades every aspect of his life. Anyway, he’s not really hungry — he rarely is, these days — and neither books nor TV hold his attention long.

Every night, he comes home, eats something that doesn’t need preparing, maybe rice balls or bread — because it wouldn’t do to starve himself — waits until it’s late enough to go to bed, and repeats the same thing all over again the next day. It’s almost funny to think that in high school he managed to go to class, fight battles in another world, work out, see his friends, hold down four or five part-time jobs, and somehow find the time to do his homework and go fishing. Now he barely manages to get the dishes done once a week.

The rare times he has the energy to think about it, he feels… cheated. So cheated; he did everything just like he was supposed to, didn’t he? He left Inaba, left the first — the only — place he ever considered home to finish school at his college prep high school in the city. He applied for the best universities he could find, and when his acceptance letters arrived, he chose the most prestigious of them. Not the one he wanted to go to — the one that wasn’t quite as good, wasn’t quite as well known… the one that Yosuke had gotten into. The one where he could have shared an apartment with his best friend. No, not that one, because that wouldn’t have been the right thing to do, and Yu always did the right thing; always does.

He knows there are people who aren’t bound by these rules that have followed him around his whole life like invisible shackles. People who are free to aim for jobs less respected but more compelling, or even to study things that may not lead to jobs at all. He finds it strange that they can live their lives without this constant, overwhelming pressure to succeed. He finds it wildly unfair that he cannot.

So he made the right choice, for some definition of right, and went to university in Tokyo, one person alone amidst millions of other lonely people in this city much too large for him. He studied law. Not because he had much of an interest in it; the truth was, he’d never really known what he wanted to do. He’d always been so busy figuring out what would make others happy, that he hadn’t ever taken the time to think about what would make _him_ happy. In any case, the right choice to make was the one that would lead to the best possible career. He’d hesitated, when it came time to choose, between law and medicine, but his school’s law program was more highly recognized that the medical track, and so that was the one he chose.

He got excellent grades, of course. Not top of his class — that would have required a passion that escaped him those days — but close. At least in the top 5%. He got an internship in the best practice that would have him, and when he passed his exam he accepted the best entry-level job he could find, nevermind that it took him even farther from Inaba and the few people in the world he loved.

Every step of the way, he did exactly what he was expected to; he didn’t even go back to Inaba last year when Yosuke visited, because he’d been at his job less than a year and you didn’t take time off when you were new. And yet, despite all that, he finds that his life is… miserable. He’s got nothing. No local friends, no energy for hobbies, no relationship… not even success in his career. He knows he’s smart enough for the job, but he’s too tired all the time. He looks at the cases he’s assigned and it’s all he can do not to fall asleep before he finishes the first sentence on a report. His thoughts are slow, confused, and he makes mistakes all the time. He was okay at first, when he’d just joined — good, even — so his boss cuts him some slack, tells him to go see a doctor if he’s sick and to make sure he’s eating well, but he knows that well of goodwill will run dry soon enough. And then, what will he have left? Nothing at all.

The fact is, his life’s been all downhill since second year ended. That’s just how it is, he supposes. Some people peak later — like Yosuke, who’s working as a consultant helping to set up new franchises of a popular Japanese restaurant around the world, or Chie, who’s apparently the best P.E. teacher Inaba’s ever had — and some peak younger. He’s just part of the latter group. Then there’s some people, like Rise and Naoto, who manage to do both, but he tries not to think about those. It doesn’t help, remembering how much of a failure he is; then he tends to cry himself to sleep despite his best efforts, and waking up the next day is that much harder.

He glances at his coffee mug, where his name scrawled in permanent marker has almost entirely worn off. It’s the mug Dojima labeled for him, back when he’d just arrived in Inaba. He considers calling home, sometimes, but he knows from Nanako’s sporadic emails that Dojima’s still working harder than he ought to, and he doesn’t want to waste what little free time his uncle has making him listen to his complaints. As for Nanako, she’s a teenager now, and she likely has other things to do than talk on the phone with her boring older cousin, so he leaves her alone. It’s not like anything is really wrong, anyway; no one’s died. No one’s been kidnapped. No one’s in the hospital. He’s fine.

He does get updates from the Investigation Team regularly via their group chat, but he doesn’t participate much. He’s never been very talkative when it comes to online messaging, and it’s not like he has much to tell. They all have their own struggles, too; he doesn’t want to bother them with his.

The only person Yu goes out of his way to keep in touch with these days is Yosuke. They call each other — not as often as they used to, because time zones are a thing and Yosuke’s busy, always so busy — but they make time for each other when they can. It feels like it’s been ages since they last spoke, though. He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check and realises it’s been nearly a month. He’s almost surprised; he can’t remember anything notable happening since then. Time seems to pass like water through a sieve these days, with nothing to distinguish one day from the next. Even his weekends are usually spent at the office, trying fruitlessly to catch up on the work he hasn’t managed to get done during the week.

He sits, and contemplates the futility of his own existence, as he often does, looking for solutions he knows he won’t find. He doesn’t notice the tears rolling silently down his face until one splashes across the surface of his coffee. One of _these_ nights, then. He stands to empty the cup in the sink and get to bed, and hopes he’ll fall asleep before his thoughts make it impossible to do so.

* * *

The next day dawns cold and bright. When he draws open the curtain, light reflecting off the snow piled on his balcony blinds his reddened eyes. He drags himself through a shower — his hair hangs in his eyes, but he knows he won’t have the energy to schedule a haircut anytime soon — eats a breakfast of plain rice mechanically, and wraps a thick scarf around his neck before he heads off to work. He doesn’t care about his health, just as he doesn’t care about much of anything, but if he gets sick then he’ll miss work, and good employees don’t miss work.

Like most mornings, he crosses scattered groups of students heading to school as he walks. This time, a particular group catches his eye. He’s not sure why at first, until he realises one of the students has hair the same shade as Yosuke used to dye his in high school, styled similarly as well. One of his friends has a hand on his shoulder, laughing and leaning into him. Around them, their other friends are varying shades of amused to exasperated. They’re not the Investigation Team — for one, the brown-haired boy is taller than his friend by almost a head, and the shorter one has black hair, not the silvery grey Yu’s had since he was a child — but they remind him enough of his own friends to pluck at something in his heart. He misses Yosuke and the rest of the team so much; even through university, they managed to keep in touch, and it’s only lately that they’ve grown more distant.

Yu makes a decision then and there. He’ll make the effort and reach out to them tonight, he vows. His life isn’t the best, but that’s no reason to let his bonds with his friends fade away. He won’t let it happen. They’ve been through too much together.

* * *

Work sucks. Work always sucks. By the time he gets home, it’s only the promise he made to himself that pushes him to take his phone out rather than head straight to bed. He opens the IT group chat, but… he can’t bring himself to send a message there. He hasn’t written in a few weeks, and that was just to wish Naoto luck on her new case, and formulate the hope that she might be brought to pass through his city as she works on it. It’s awful of him to only talk to them when he needs them. He did promise, though, so he decides he’ll message someone directly, instead; maybe he won’t feel quite so guilty about that.

It can’t be Kanji, Yukiko, or Chie; all their stories are always about Inaba, and he can’t help but resent them for it. How is the little ginger cat at the riverbank doing? Has Shiroku finally retired? What’s Daidara’s latest creation? He’s so jealous that they know, and he doesn’t.

Teddie’s not an option, either; he’s off traveling somewhere, probably in South America based on the last pictures he shared. Teddie never really grew up when they did; not physically, but not mentally, either. He’s still the somewhat crazy, hyper teenager he was when he first grew himself a body inside that bear suit. That’s part of the reason he travels so much; people started mentioning how young he looked, how little he’d changed over the years, and the team worried that someone would realise there was something different about him.

Teddie loves them all, Yu knows, but _out of sight, out of mind_ is his way of life. He replies eagerly when Yu writes to him, but he’ll suddenly drop out of the conversation because he saw a pretty bird and had to run after it to get a picture, or went to entertain a child who seemed bored, or helped an old woman carry something heavy. He can’t resent Teddie for that; that’s just who he is.

Naoto would most likely be very supportive if he could see her face to face, but she’s more than terse when it comes to texting. Just like with Yu, it’s not her thing. In any case, with the new job she just took on, she’s unlikely to have much free time, and what she does have she’s probably spending on Kanji.

Rise, of course, is out of the question. He can’t remember the last time they spoke — or rather, he can remember it all too well. They used to be quite close a few years ago, when he was still studying and she’d gone back to her idol work which had her spending a good chunk of her time in Tokyo, until she asked him to stop contacting her.

“I like you way too much, Yu,” she’d told him at a cafe in downtown Tokyo with a pained expression. “And—” cutting him off—“shh, I know you don’t feel the same way. I’m not trying to ask you out again or anything, don’t worry. But I can’t keep spending all my free time with you, and I can’t keep texting you all the time. Because, well, you’re the most important thing in my life, but, for you… I’m just one of your friends.”

Yu had tried to apologize, but she’d given him a sad smile and told him that wasn’t what she was looking for. She just needed some time to move on. He understood, right? They were still friends. It was just for a while, until it stopped hurting every time she saw him. And he’d nodded and stopped messaging her. Had stopped seeing the only friend he had in Tokyo. She never got back in touch after that. He couldn’t really blame her, still can’t now. She’s amazing, smart and beautiful; she deserves to find someone who can love her the way she wants, and he’s never been that person.

Which leaves his partner as the final option. There’s no real reason not to message him — he’s the one Yu most wants to talk to, anyway — but he feels terrible that it’s been so long since they spoke, and he knows it’s his fault; Yosuke tried to call him once or twice, but every time he went to bed rather than stay up until Yosuke could get off work. He opens the chat, hoping Yosuke’s on break, and sends a quick _hello, are you free?_

Yosuke’s reply arrives seconds later, studded with typos and emojis.

> **Yosuke** Prtnrrr :D it’s been ages omg! ya I’ve got a couple hours b4 my nxt meetin. how hav U been?!

Yu’d only meant to get in touch, to let Yosuke tell him his usual stories about his job and maybe feel a little less alone for just one evening. Anyway, it’s more of a rhetorical question than anything else. Looking at the message, though, he can’t bring himself to give the expected trivial reply. He can’t take this anymore; he needs to talk to someone, and if anyone’s going to listen to him, it’s got to be Yosuke. He almost stops himself; Yosuke probably had plans for today, things to do that didn’t involve listening to his best friend’s entitled complaints about how much he hates his cushy job that many would kill for, but… well, they’re _partners_ , regardless of the distance between them. He knows he can tell him anything. So Yu takes a deep breath, and types out the truth.

> **Yu** Honestly… not great.


	2. Chapter 2

Yu tells Yosuke everything. How lonely he’s been, how useless he feels, how sad he always seems to be. Yosuke, bless him, listens — or reads, rather — and doesn’t interrupt, except to prompt him to go on. Seeing it all typed out like that, Yu can’t help but realise just how bad things have gotten. It all built up so gradually that he didn’t notice until it got to be this crushing weight on his back, dragging down his every step. When at last he runs out of things to say, Yosuke replies.

> **Yosuke** can i call u?

Yu panics a little. He’s not comfortable speaking out loud. He has a reputation for being quiet and reserved, which most people attribute to an aloof disposition, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. If he’s so quiet, it’s only because he cares too much. When he speaks, he struggles to contain his emotions, good or bad, and he knows if Yosuke tries to make him talk right now he’ll either shut down or get overwhelmed, neither of which will be much help.

While he hesitates, Yosuke decides for him by replying.

> **Yosuke** nvm
> 
> u like texting better rite
> 
> sry prtnr i knew dat
> 
> so um
> 
> theres a lotta stuff u been keepin 2 yourself huh
> 
> wish id known u wntd 2 go 2 uni w me, u shoulda told me!
> 
> neways kinda sounds like burnout?
> 
> **Yu** How can it be burnout? I’m barely getting anything done at the office.
> 
> **Yosuke** mayb, but ur there prtty much every day, evn weekends
> 
> wen wz the last time u had a vcation?
> 
> hell, wen was the lst time u took any kinda break?

Yu glares at Yosuke’s messages. He hasn’t really taken any time off since he started this job about two years ago, but that’s not the problem. What’s wrong is _him_ , and the way he can’t seem to get his work done. If he could only manage to focus, if he could just catch up, then he’d have time; time to visit Inaba, time to make new friends, time to explore the place he lives... time to be happy again. But as long as he continues to be too unmotivated, too _lazy_ to do his job, then how can he expect anything else in his life to be ok? Anyway, it’s not like he _never_ takes breaks.

> **Yu** I stopped by a pet store on my way home from work two weeks ago. There was a cute cat.
> 
> **Yosuke** prtnr…
> 
> u haven’t taken any vacation this whol time, hav u? not evn 2 visit ur family

Yu chooses not to reply to that.

> **Yosuke** how many days off do u hav rite now?
> 
> **Yu** Um, I think we get five.

There’s a short lull in Yosuke’s replies, during which Yu wonders where this conversation is meant to be going. Is Yosuke going to tell him to take a trip home? He’s pretty sure that would make him more sad than happy at this point.

> **Yosuke** so like a week?
> 
> u shld come visit me

Yu stares at his phone, searching for the right answer to such an outrageous suggestion. Yosuke just recently moved to the UK for his job, where he’ll be staying until the beginning of summer. What’s he doing inviting him over like he lives down the street?

> **Yu** I obviously can’t do that.
> 
> **Yosuke** sure u can! i know uve got enuf saved frm ur fancy lawyer job 2 afford a plane tickt. they hav me in a huge apartment, ive got like 3 bedrooms, so u can totally stay w me. it wud be so cool!
> 
> **Yu** I’m sure you’re busy with your job, and I can’t just up and leave work for a week like that.
> 
> **Yosuke** doesnt hav 2 b rite away. mb nxt month?
> 
> i can take a couple days off as long as it’s not when we’re meeting investors or signing paperwork or w/e

Yosuke’s crazy. This whole _idea_ is crazy. They both have jobs, and you don’t randomly decide to fly halfway across the world because you’re bored and a little unhappy, anyway. Yu’s never even been outside of Asia, never flown for more than a few hours; a trip to the UK would be a big deal.

> **Yu** I wouldn’t want to bother you.
> 
> **Yosuke** im the 1 who suggestd it, dummy. ur not bothering me. u kno, its knda boring being all alone here sumtimz

The whole thing is crazy and yet… Yu really, really wants to say yes. He knows he shouldn’t, that it’s a silly impulse decision and he’s not the kind to act on those. But, Yosuke offered, didn’t he? And it’s been nearly two years, one week off in two years should be ok. He fights with himself over it for long enough that Yosuke sends another message unprompted.

> **Yosuke** also im kinda worried bout u. if u rly dont wanna come ill come visit u instd, but im not leaving u alone.
> 
> & i think wed both njoy it more f u came here

Going to visit, taking Yosuke’s time, it would be selfish; but letting him feel obligated to come visit Yu’s boring city would be worse, wouldn’t it? At least, that’s how Yu justifies letting himself do what he wants for once, and not what he ought to.

> **Yu** I’ll ask my boss.
> 
> **Yosuke** YES! OMG im so excitd prtnr ull c its gonna b amaziiiiiing!!!

* * *

In the end, Yu books a ticket for early April, almost two months away. It’s ok; what’s two months longer after years of loneliness? They pass in a heartbeat; in an eternity. Yu finds it a bit easier to work these days. It’s not that it’s any less dull, but the countdown app on his phone ticking closer to his trip every passing day is a powerful motivation. He gets through his projects a bit more quickly, to his boss’s evident satisfaction, and when he tells his coworkers he’ll miss them on the last day before his trip, he almost means it.

* * *

The flight is long, his knees jammed painfully into the seat in front of him and the tiny screen too close to his face playing grainy movies from years ago. Through his window, the sea of clouds rarely parts, and when it does it’s only to let cold Russian tundra show through, no other landmarks to be seen than dark rivers that split the land. He naps fitfully, woken up by the plane’s every move, and feels nauseous after choking down the mediocre reheated curry served for lunch. His english skills are put to the test at the immigration counter, and his bag takes an eternity to come out at baggage claim. All in all, it’s a pretty miserable flight, but none of it matters a bit when the first thing he hears as he gets out of customs is a loud “PARTNER!”

Yosuke looks great. He’s a little paler than he was the last time Yu saw him, his hair a little longer, but the grin on his face is the same he’s always known. They rush towards each other, Yosuke sweeping him up into a hug so tight his feet leave the ground for a moment. When they pull back, Yu heaves a long sigh, smiling. No matter how far they go from each other, Yosuke’s always going to be his best friend, and it feels a little like being home, being next to him.

“I missed you,” he says.

“Missed you too, dude.” Yosuke reaches out to fix Yu’s bangs, laughing. “Man, you look exhausted. I don’t think I’ve ever even _seen_ you with dark circles or messy hair. How was your flight?”

“Horrible,” Yu sighs.

Yosuke reaches out to grab his suitcase, ignoring Yu’s protests that he can carry it himself.

“Let’s get you home, then. I’ve got a shower and a guest bedroom calling your name.”

* * *

Yu falls asleep on the subway ride, waking up to Yosuke shaking his shoulder so they don’t miss their stop. The hot shower he jumps into as soon as they get to the apartment is the closest thing to an otherworldly experience he’s ever had, and the bed is as soft as a cloud when he drops into it — although he has a feeling even a wooden board would be heavenly with how tired he is. He falls asleep moments after hitting the pillow, only dimly registering Yosuke coming in to draw the curtains shut at some point.

* * *

He wakes up that evening feeling like a brand new man. The sound of Yosuke playing a video game echoes in the apartment while he gets dressed — it’s so nice not being in a silent house for once, having someone else around. When he comes out, Yosuke pauses his game and turns to smile at him.

“Feeling better?”

“Much,” Yu replies. “I’ll have trouble sleeping tonight, though.”

Yosuke winces. “Yeah, I was gonna come wake you, but you seemed like you really needed the rest.” He puts down the controller and stretches before wandering over to the fridge. “Want something to drink?”

“Some water?” Yu joins him to check the fridge’s contents. “I guess we should go grocery shopping.”

“Ah, haha, yeah,” Yosuke replies, running a hand through his hair with a sheepish look. “I don’t cook a whole lot, you know? Usually get takeout…”

It’s not like Yu’s been doing much better lately; it’s hard to motivate himself to cook just for one. Still, he doesn’t like knowing Yosuke’s been eating like that. It’s not healthy. He glances at his watch and frowns.

“Kinda late for today, though.”

“Yeah, we’ll go tomorrow,” Yosuke agrees. “For tonight, I thought I could take you to this nice pub down the street? They have really good fish and chips, and sometimes there’s even a band playing.”

* * *

The pub is pleasant, all wooden panelling and old comfy chairs just like he always imagined english pubs to be, and there’s indeed some live music, but Yu’s barely finished his meal that he’s asking for the check. The pub is too loud to talk in comfortably, and he’s much more interested in catching up with his best friend than he is in listening to the band.

Back at Yosuke’s apartment, Yu gets a tour of the rooms he hasn’t seen yet. There’s a big bedroom with a beautiful view where Yosuke sleeps, and another room that must serve as an office, with a desk and a computer but also a beanbag chair and a guitar. Finally, there’s the living room and open plan kitchen where he found Yosuke playing earlier, with a large TV, a console or two, and a cozy looking couch. The kitchen seems well-equipped, Yu’s pleased to see, with plenty of counter space.

Yosuke makes them both tea, and they spend the rest of the evening on the couch talking about Yosuke’s job and his travels. They talk regularly, of course, so it’s not all news to Yu, but it’s just not the same face-to-face. Yosuke’s so animated when he tells stories, like the one about the time Teddie came to visit him in New York last year and almost set the new restaurant’s kitchens on fire, or those about investors each more ridiculous than the last that leave Yu breathless from laughing too much. It’s almost light out by the time Yu realises Yosuke’s yawning has interrupted his last sentence at least four times, and therefore decides it’s time for bed.

* * *

Yosuke’s off work nearly the entire week; he only has to go in on the last two days of Yu’s visit, which leaves the rest free for them to explore London together. When they get up — almost past noon, what with the late night — they go grocery shopping together. Yosuke seems so excited at the idea of getting homemade food that Yu decides to forego restaurants and get enough for the whole week; he enjoys cooking anyway.

Back at the apartment, he prepares ginger pork for a very late lunch while Yosuke plays a video game. He keeps asking if he can help, but Yu’s happy to work by himself with the sound of his playing in the background, interspersed with comments and complaints about how he totally shouldn’t have died just then, or how much he just owned that opponent. This apartment feels so alive, compared to his dark, grey one back home. Not that his is ugly — objectively, it’s very nice, with great windows, plenty of extra space, and a beautiful bathroom — but it always feels so empty, like it’s missing something. Maybe he needs to get a roommate, Yu muses as he puts the finishing touches on the dish.

“Food’s ready,” he calls, and Yosuke bounces up.

“ _Finally_! Smells so goooood,” he just about drools.

He sets the table while Yu brings out the dishes, and soon enough they’re digging in.

“Partneeer,” Yosuke moans almost indecently with his first bite. “Have I told you how much I missed you?”

“Me?” Yu says with a chuckle. “Or my food?”

Yosuke’s mouth is already full again, but he replies anyway. “Itsh a packashe deal!”

“I see, then. You just love me for my food…”

Yosuke laughs, kicking Yu under the table. “Stop complaining and eat before I take yours.”

Yu pulls his plate closer and sticks his tongue out. “There’s leftovers in the fridge, thief.”

“Wait, really?” Yosuke exclaims. “Oh man, leftovers. Of your food. I should have invited you to visit me _ages_ ago.”

* * *

After their meal, they spend the evening hitting up some of London’s main tourist spots, sending selfies in front of Big Ben and on the Tower Bridge to the IT group chat. Yu realises belatedly that neither of them actually told the others he was visiting, and the shocked and jealous replies come pinging in within minutes.

> **Teddie** SENSEIII WHY DIDN’T YOU COME TO SEE ME?!
> 
> **Naoto** It’s not very safe to travel without telling anyone of your whereabouts, Senpai.
> 
> **Kanji** Are you in London?! I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you were going!
> 
> Can you pick me up some Liberty print fabric?
> 
> **Rise** Wow, Yosuke can keep a secret after all!
> 
> **Yukiko** Chie’s so jealous she ran off to lift weights to “burn off the anger”
> 
> Be back later I got tickets to the gun show 😏

That last one sends them both into loud peals of laughter that draw irritated looks from the other passengers on their subway car, but Yu doesn’t even notice them. He leans against Yosuke, catching his breath, and thinks he hasn’t felt this happy in years.

* * *

The next day is more of the same, touristy visits and subway rides all around the city. Yu considers telling Yosuke that he’s fine just sitting at home, but Yosuke seems happy to play the tour guide, and it’s nice seeing him so in his element. His english is impressively good; Yu knew he’d decided to get serious about it in college, but he hadn’t gotten to see it first hand before. He’s perfectly at ease chatting with locals or translating a restaurant menu for Yu, whose own skills are clearly lacking. For a moment, he feels ashamed about it — he should have worked harder — but then Yosuke draws him back into conversation, and he doesn’t have the time to waste beating himself up over it.

By now Yu is finally getting over his jetlag, at least enough to stay up that evening rather than crash the moment he’s done with dinner. They decide to spend the time on an old video game, a fighter they used to play together back in high school, that’s been remade for the current generation of consoles.

“Take that!” Yosuke yells when he manages to land a particularly complex combo on Yu’s character.

Yu had been struggling a bit up, but Yosuke’s taunt seems to unlock something inside of him, and suddenly the combos start coming back to him like he’s 16 again. He focuses on the controls, Yosuke’s despairing moans barely even registering as he crushes him again and again until at last, the screen flashes a neon “K.O.” sign over Yosuke’s character’s prone body.

“Jeez…” Yosuke sighs. “That’s cheating, acting like you don’t know how to play anymore just to throw me off.”

Yu laughs and elbows him. “Again?”

“Of _course_ again! What, you don’t think I’m gonna let you win that easy!”

Yosuke manages to win the next round, which means they need a tie breaker, after which they need another because “you were totally button mashing on that round and that’s cheating,” and they’re both half asleep by the time they finally drop the controllers and flop back against the couch cushions.

“I def’nitely won more’an you,” Yosuke mumbles as he lets his head drop onto Yu’s shoulder.

“You wish,” Yu replies in just as exhausted a tone, reaching up to poke Yosuke’s cheek so lazily it’s more of a caress. His hand brushes against Yosuke’s hair as he does, and he’s startled enough that he reaches out to run his hand over it deliberately.

“Your hair’s so soft!”

Yosuke chuckles and sits up a bit straighter. “Yeah, it’s way healthier now that I don’t dye it anymore. That shit made it so brittle. Kinda miss the brown, though…”

Yu turns to look at him, rearranging some bits of his bangs with a critical eye. “Brown was nice, but black suits you too,” he says before letting his head flop back onto the top of the couch.

They stay silent for a few minutes, sleep a very appealing prospect, but that won’t be a good night’s rest for either of them. He drags himself off the couch, to Yosuke’s sleepy protest, and gets ready before coming back to get Yosuke to go to bed.

* * *

They get a late start again the next day, both of them yawning over their breakfast.

“Was there anything else you wanted to visit?” Yosuke asks.

Yu shakes his head, mouth full of rice and omelette.

“Maybe we can take it easy today then. I was thinking shopping, a movie…?”

“That sounds perfect,” Yu replies. He should try to find something to bring back for Nanako; he sent her an email telling her about his trip, and she seemed extremely jealous, though he’s not quite sure if she’s more jealous that he’s in London, or that he gets to see Yosuke. They got really close during Yu and Yosuke’s third year of high school, and at this point Yosuke is as much her “big bro” as he is.

* * *

Yosuke takes him to a huge department store where they spend half their day, lost amongst its many floors. Yu manages to find some nice cologne for Dojima and a set of spices that he hopes Nanako will like; she’s become quite the cook. Yosuke’s mostly happy to browse, though he does pick up a new CD from one of his favorite bands. When he goes to pay, Yu notices that his wallet is literally falling apart. He bends down to pick a piece of fake leather up off the ground and lifts an eyebrow at Yosuke.

“Yeah, yeah… I know need a new one, but I’ve had this one forever. I think I got it in Croco Fur back in second year, actually…” Yosuke looks down at the wallet with an expression far too nostalgic for the dilapidated ruin.

When their walk through the store brings them to a section full of bags and wallets, Yu gets a sudden idea. Yosuke doesn’t figure out what Yu’s doing until he finds just the right thing and holds it up next to Yosuke, nodding. It’s a sleek wallet, navy leather — not fake, so it’ll last longer — with orange trim. It’s a bit overpriced, to be honest, but if there’s one thing his job is good for, it’s giving him enough money to buy an expensive gift for his best friend on a whim.

Yosuke objects, of course, telling Yu that there’s absolutely no need to do that, it’s not like he can’t afford to buy his own wallet, and he’s sure that one’s way too expensive — can he check, _please, Yu, let me see how much it is_ — but Yu ignores him, making use of his longer legs to walk towards the cash desks too fast for Yosuke to catch up unless he wants to abandon all sense of decorum and run outright. Yosuke makes it a moment too late to stop him handing the wallet to the cashier, who smiles at their antics indulgently.

When Yu’s done paying he tries to give it to him, having carefully removed the price tag, but Yosuke frowns at him.

“Partner, you really didn’t need to buy me that, you know.”

Yu looks down at the wallet he’s still holding, suddenly uncertain. “Do you really not want it? I thought, maybe if it was a gift, that um… it’d be a good enough replacement…” He trails off, feeling downright foolish. Before he can turn to the cashier and ask to return it, though, Yosuke takes it gently from his hand. When Yu looks up at him, his expression is carefully blank.

“... Yeah, okay. Fine.” He turns the wallet over, running his fingers over its soft leather, before smiling at Yu. “Thanks. But you gotta let _me_ get you something too!”

Yu nods; gifts are always nice, to give or to get.

“Oh!” Yosuke exclaims. “We should take a picture together to put in it!”

“They have photo booths here?”

“Not _fun_ ones,” Yosuke sighs, “but we’ll make it work.” He winks at Yu and heads back into the depths of the store.

* * *

Yosuke ends up getting Yu a silvery tie that he says “exactly matches your eyes, Partner.” It’s sleek and soft, almost liquid in its metallic gleam, and Yu finds himself looking forward to wearing it until he remember that the only reason he wears ties is for work. He’d forgotten, for a few days, about his depressing job and his boring life back home. He feels his happiness evaporating like water in the sun, but Yosuke chooses that moment to wrap an arm around his shoulder and start pulling him toward the exit, deciding that they’ve been in that store more than long enough. Yu takes a deep breath, and shoves away his unhappy thoughts. He can be as sad as he wants later, but right now, Yosuke’s here, and he’s not going to waste one minute of their time together feeling sorry for himself.

* * *

After a quick dinner, they head to the movie theater where they get tickets for some action-packed movie that flits from car chase to fight scene with no time for rational thought. It ends fairly late, and they head straight to bed upon getting home; Yosuke works the next day, so he can’t be staying up until the sun rises like the previous night. Emptying his pockets before changing, Yu pulls out the photo he and Yosuke took. It’s a really simple one, nothing like what you can get with the photo booths they’ve got back home, but with both of them shoved into it — quite literally, as the space was definitely meant for a single person — and Yosuke’s pen-doodled decorations all over it, it holds its own next to the one he took with Nanako five or six years ago. He slides it into place in his wallet’s id pocket, smiling, and finishes getting read for bed.

* * *

Yu wakes up early the next morning so that he can make breakfast for Yosuke before he heads off to work. As much as Yosuke complains over the meal, saying he’d rather spend the day with Yu, it’s obvious he really likes his job. He lights up when Yu asks him what he’s doing that day, explaining about meeting new employees and finally seeing the complete kitchens. Then he leaves, and Yu is alone with his thoughts for the first time since arriving in London.

He keeps himself busy, cleaning the entire house until it’s spotless, doing some extra grocery shopping, preparing veggies for the curry he plans to make that evening… but all that can only occupy him for so long, and early afternoon finds him sitting on the edge of the couch fiddling with a thread at the hem of his shirt, feeling as morose as ever.

These last few days have been a fun distraction, but that’s all they’ve been — a distraction. Two days from now, he’ll be on a plane heading back to his cold, quiet house, his miserable job, and the rest of his empty life. It’s been nice to spend time with Yosuke, of course it has, but what’s the point of all this? Why did he spend two months so eagerly anticipating it, as if it could change anything?

He tries to distract himself with his phone, but that works about as well as can be expected, and he eventually ends up simply sitting, doing nothing, just staring at the floor as his thoughts run in gloomy circles around his mind.

He may have fallen asleep at some point, or perhaps just zoned out; either way, the slam of the door as Yosuke comes home pulls him back to reality. 

“Hey partner! Hope you had a goo—”

Yosuke meets Yu’s eyes as he looks up from untying his shoes, and something in there seems to make him freeze, his bright smile going dim. Yu feels guilty; the fact that his day wasn’t great is no reason to ruin Yosuke’s. He tries for a smile, but it probably looks as fake as it feels, judging by Yosuke’s disappointed sigh as he steps out of his shoes and comes closer.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks softly, like Yu’s a cat he’s scared to spook off. He sits next to Yu on the couch, facing him with a serious look that’s out of place on his usual jokester’s face.

“About what?” Yu replies, voice scratchy from disuse. He hasn’t had anything to drink since breakfast, he realises at that moment. Hasn’t eaten anything, either, but he doesn’t feel hungry or thirsty at all.

“Whatever you want. Your job. Your city. How you’ve been feeling. I didn’t want to push too much about it before ‘cause I figured it’d be better face-to-face, and you seemed so happy the last few days, I thought maybe you were doing better… but you’re clearly not, partner. So come on, _talk_ to me _._ ”

Yu stares at a stain on the couch between them, trying to think. What is he supposed to say? He’s not happy at his job, sure, but nothing’s _wrong_. It’s not like his boss is harassing him, or he’s got way too much work, or anything at all really. It’s all just inside his head. The problem is, the job keeps messing up the rest. He gets nothing done all day at work, so he feels guilty and he stays late — not that it makes a difference, but every time he has hope that maybe today, maybe this time, the extra hour will be the one where he finally finds the will to actually do something, and things will start getting better. But it never does, and he’s not sure what will break that cycle — getting fired, maybe. What would he do then, though? He’d have to find some sort of job, he has bills to pay after all, but it’s not like he knows how to do anything else than be a lawyer; that’s all he’s ever really studied. Maybe Yosuke could help him get a cashiering job at his local Junes. Probably wouldn’t pay the bills on that apartment of his, though. He’d have to move out, get something smaller and even more out of the way of what little life his city’s got. Hardest of all, he’d have to face the crushing disappointment of having entirely failed his life.

He doesn’t realise he’s digging his nails into his wrist until Yosuke gently pulls his hand away, wrapping careful fingers over the bruised skin.

“Yu…”

He sounds so terribly sad. That’s enough to make Yu’s eyes water despite his best efforts; it’s not enough that he’s made a mess of his life, but now he’s managing to make his best friend feel bad, too. To think he used to be so special when they’d first met. More powerful than anyone else in the TV world, always top of his class, and so popular too. Who would have thought he’d grow up into such a damn waste of space? He swallows hard, trying to will the tears pooling in his eyes not to fall down his face.

“Hey, don’t… Do you want to talk about something else?”

Yu can’t trust himself to speak, not when Yosuke’s voice is still filled with that tender concern that he doesn’t deserve, so he only nods. Yosuke sighs, again, but lets go of his wrist and sits back.

“Okay, then. Let’s talk about… girls!” His voice is back at full volume, as cheerful and bright as ever; the contrast is so sudden that it makes Yu’s head snap up. There’s still a drawn tension in the lines around his eyes, but he seems willing to drop the earlier line of questioning for now. Yu’s grateful; it’s not like talking will help, anyway. He’s had more than enough time to think about it, and he knows there’s no magical solution to his issues waiting around the corner.

“Sure,” he replies, still sounding a bit trembly. “What _about_ girls?” he tries again, a little more steady this time.

“Well, have you met any cute ones lately?”

Yu shakes his head. Where is he supposed to have met any? There’s only two women at his office, and both are about ten years older than him — married, too, he’s pretty sure. They’re not his type, in any case. He frowns, annoyed at himself for ruining Yosuke’s attempt at a topic change, before he figures out that if Yosuke’s asking, then maybe _he_ has something to say on the subject.

“What about you? Got a girlfriend here yet?”

“No.” Yosuke’s reply is instantaneous, and surprisingly snappy. Yu’s confused by it, until he puts on his internal Naoto hat and gets a sneaking idea that maybe… It’s unlikely, but not _impossible_. In any case, it’s been years since that bathhouse; Yosuke’s not that scared second-year anymore, he’s not going to run screaming from the very suggestion.

“A… boyfriend, then?” he asks a little hesitantly.

Yosuke’s silence is answer enough, and the creeping blush on his cheeks confirms it.

“Oh my god!” Yu exclaims, his earlier distress now completely forgotten. “And you weren’t gonna _tell_ me?! Who is he, when do I get to meet him?!”

“No!” Yosuke waves his arms around frantically. “No, no, there’s no boyfriend or anything, you’re not meeting anyone!”

“Then…?”

“I just… I guess I wouldn’t _mind_ there being a boyfriend. Maybe.” His entire face is red now, and he won’t meet Yu’s eyes. “I didn’t tell you ‘cause I didn’t really even admit it to myself until… well, like, now, but I’ve been kinda feeling that way for a while if I’m being honest.”

Yu feels a glowing warmth in his chest, like he used to feel when he leveled up his bonds with his social links during that strange year where strong friendships could mean life and death in the TV world. He’s pretty sure if all that was still around, today would have marked a Persona change for Yosuke; for him to admit that so easily to Yu — when he hadn’t even managed to admit it to himself — speaks volumes on how strong the trust between them is. Yosuke’s matured a lot since they first met, but he’s never been at ease with being too _different_. Actually, he still looks particularly uncomfortable, as if he’s waiting for Yu to make fun of him. Yu realises he needs to make it clear he doesn’t mind, more than doesn’t mind.

“So, I’ve got one day to become the perfect wingman! What kinda guys are you into?”

In his rush to answer, he lets his excitement show a little too much.

“Wait a minute.” Yosuke narrows his eyes at him, before they go wide in surprise as he comes to a conclusion. “You too?!”

Yu shrugs a little self-consciously. “I mean, yes and no? I’m more into … people as a whole, than genders. It’s not really something I think about.”

“You never said.” There’s no mistaking Yosuke’s petulant tone.

“Well, I thought that kind of thing made you uncomfortable…”

“Still! You know you can tell me anything!”

“I know,” Yu replies soothingly. “It just never really came up. I don’t even remember the last guy I was really into.”

That’s not entirely true, but apart from a crush or two during college, the last time he was really into a boy dates back to before he even met Yosuke.

  


He’d had eyelashes so long every girl would have been jealous, and a jawline worth writing poems over, but Yu hadn’t noticed those at first. He could appreciate looks, but he didn’t fall in love with looks. He fell in love with personalities, and when he’d seen his classmate carefully setting out food for some stray cats in an abandoned field close to school, he’d fallen hard.

The classmate had seen him looking and called him over, telling him how to approach them so they’d let him get close and maybe even scratch their heads a little. Yu’d never been allowed a pet, what with his busy parents, and this was the first time he got to see a cat from so close.

They hadn’t really become friends after that, but every day after class, they’d meet up to feed the cats together, getting closer to them — and to each other. The kittens were so small, after all, that when he petted them it was hard to say where one’s soft fur ended, and where his classmate’s hand began.

Then one day, the classmate had put his tray down on Yu’s table during lunch, smiling. Yu had thought his heart would burst; maybe this the day when their hesitant friendship finally became something more.

“Hey, Yu,” he’d said, reaching into his backpack to drop a can of cat food on the table. “Think you can feed the cats alone today? I’ve got a date with Aya after school.”

By the end of the year, Yu had learned two things: that cats were the most perfect beings on earth, and that humans were the worst. Then he’d moved to Inaba, and he’d had to admit that maybe not _all_ humans were the worst.

Cats were still definitely the best, though.

  


“So?” he prompts when he realises Yosuke hasn’t answered him despite the long pause. “What’s your type?”

Yosuke laughs. “You are so damn pushy, partner. I mean… I dunno. Sweet. Kind. Nice eyes. Same kinda shit I was looking for in a woman, you know? But, there’ll be no wingmanning.”

“What? Why not?” Yu frowns. “You don’t think I’d be good?”

Yosuke scoffs. “You’d probably be excellent at it, just like you are at everything. But I don’t want to date someone here.”

“Why...not?” Yu repeats. He was being silly about playing wingman; he’s only here for another day, and unlikely to be much help with meeting people in London. But for Yosuke not to be interested in dating anyone at all, that’s strange. “You’ve always wanted a relationship.”

Yosuke grimaces. “No need to make it sound so lame, dude.”

“I don’t think it’s lame…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. It’s like you say, anyway. I want a _relationship_. Not some casual fling. I outgrew the whole ‘cute girl on my arm’ thing, you know? I haven’t spent more than 6 months in one place since I dropped out of college. What if I dated someone and it got serious? I couldn’t ask them to leave their whole life here behind. And I can’t imagine settling down so far away from all my friends and my family, either. It wouldn’t be fair to them or to myself.”

“Mm… I guess that makes sense. Man, when’d you turn into such a sensible adult?”

“Hey now, don’t insult me!” Yosuke says with a wink and a laugh that Yu echoes. “Doesn’t mean I can’t tell when I see a cute guy. You should see our line cook…” He trails off, seeming distracted — is the line cook that good looking? Yu waits expectantly until he speaks again. “Actually, you really _should_ see him, and the rest of the team too. Do you want to come to work with me tomorrow? We can always use an extra pair of hands. It’ll be just like old times, back when you’d help me at Junes!”

Yu thinks it over for a moment; he doesn’t want to bother Yosuke, but he can probably find a way to make himself helpful. It certainly sounds like a better idea than what he spent today doing, in any case.

“Yeah, that would be fun.”

Yosuke cheers before suddenly sobering up and staring at Yu.

“Wait. I just thought of something. Does that mean that you _weren’t_ kidding that one time in high school when you said you were looking forward to seeing Kanji in a swimsuit?”

“No…? He’s a good-looking man, and he already had some pretty kick-ass muscles back then.”

“Ugh, _I guess…_ but I dunno, I really can’t. Not Kanji.”

Yu snorts. “Don’t worry, partner. I’m pretty sure he’s not looking for someone right now.”

That’s quite the understatement, considering he and Naoto have been sharing a small house in the shopping district in Inaba — in spirit if not in truth, considering Naoto’s frequent travels — since they graduated high school, and are expected to get engaged soon now that Kanji’s done with his studies at the local college and has officially taken over his mother’s shop.

Their conversation drifts to their friends, and after a while Yu decides to go finish the curry he started earlier. Yosuke “helps” by tasting entire spoonfuls of the dish until Yu kicks him out — it’s not ready yet, he says in response to Yosuke’s complaints, and if he keeps it up he’ll spoil his appetite for when it actually is. By the time they get to bed, Yu’s managed to put thoughts of what awaits him back home aside for a bit longer.

* * *

Working with Yosuke is enjoyable, but strenuous; the job doesn’t leave much time for chatting. He meets the line cook, who _is_ indeed quite cute, but spends most of the lunch hour chatting with the one Japanese employee, unable to understand much of the others’ heavy british accents. They come home exhausted that evening and eat leftovers in relative silence, then rest on the couch in front of the TV, too tired to do much but unwilling to let their last day together end.

“I hope you had a good time,” Yosuke says after a while.

“I did. Thanks for inviting me.”

“Don’t mention it. It was nice having someone around for a bit. It can get a little lonely, always being so far away from everyone. Work keeps me busy, but…”

“It’s not the same,” Yu finishes his sentence with a smile. “It was great catching up with you like this.”

Yosuke smiles back at him. “Let’s not wait so long to do it again, yeah?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (quick note: I don't know when I'll finish this. Right now, it hits a little too close to home and since it has pretty low engagement, I'm not super motivated to force myself to work on it. But I do have full notes for the story, so if you're really curious, hit me up on tumblr or twitter, thermopylod on both. I know how annoying unfinished stories are!)


End file.
